Archive for January 11th, 2011

January 11, 2011

When to Say No to Your Partner or You Want Me To Do What?!

by Vonda Howard

Hey Vonda!

Okay imma get right to it.  I just need a little clarification.  The other night I decided to spice up our sex life by agreeing to watch a xxx movie with my hubby.  I have to admit, I was enjoying it and it definitely was working.  It wasn’t until the woman in the movie showed us that she obviously has no bones, that this fool turned to me and actually said, “Ooo baby.  Why don’t we do that?”  I told him HELL NO and we continued to watch.  Vonda, ever since we watched that damn movie he has been asking me to bend, twist and squeeze into positions that my body just was not made to get into.  I love my husband and want to make him happy, but I am just not that comfortable with some of the things he wants me to do.  Vonda, what should I do?  Am I being a terrible wife if I tell him no?

You Want Me To Do What?

Dear You Want Me To Do What,

I have to admit your letter made me chuckle.  In the grand scope of things, this is a really minor problem.

I am glad to hear that you are open to trying new things with your hubby.  Lots of times, we wives and girlfriends can get a bit complacent when it comes to intimacy with our men.  Just like we want them to do things for us, we have to be willing to budge a little and do some of the things he is interested in too.  Who knows; he may just be curious about it and end up hating it too!

Now, to answer your question.  The answer is no.  You will not be wrong for telling him that you are uncomfortable with something.  After all, that is YOUR body and although you allow him to borrow it from time to time, you still have the ultimate say as to what happens to it.  Simply tell him that you love him and are having a good time trying all the new things, but that one is just not for you.  If he truly loves and respects you (which I assume he does), he won’t have a problem respecting your wishes.  Try buying some books and YOU pick out movies that may interest you and both of you decide on what you BOTH are willing to try together.

Have Fun!


About the Author: Vonda Howard is the author of the new hot book series, The D-Cup Divas™, a graphic designer of her own graphic design firm, Cupcake Creative Studio, mom to two, wife to her one and only and a domestic goddess (not really…LOL). She does not profess to be an expert, but just that one opinionated girlfriend you go to for the straight nitty-gritty. So just relax and enjoy. ;o) Do you have a question? Send it to this and you may get featured!

%d bloggers like this: