Begin Again: Love ’11 Style

by Donya B

Better Relationships

Relationships.  What is it about the holidays that really make us focus in on relationships?  At Thanksgiving, you recognized what you have or came through and were thankful for it.  At Hanukkah, you cherished the compassion God had for His children and shared that with your families.  At Christmas, you recognized the gift God gave in His son and shared that feeling of giving and love with everyone.  At Kwanzaa, you took time to embrace the love you have for yourself, your family and your community.  At New Years, you looked back over the year and examined the good and the bad, then resolved to change your future.  We really do a lot of assessing in a month!

But then what? Did all of your assessing and examining and contemplating make a difference in your relationships?  Did it make a difference that will last more than the “holiday season”?  What is it you will do differently with your loved ones in this new year that you didn’t do last year?  Here’s a short list to help you get an idea of things you can do to nurture and grow all of your relationships.  Feel free to comment back with more!

  1. Listen.  You have two ears and one mouth… Need I finish the thought?
  2. Communicate.  Once you’ve listened, convey to others how you feel, what you think, what you want and what you can do.  Not selfishly, but constructively.
  3. Act.  Words are important, but we all know actions speak much louder.  Do the things you know are important to someone else to show them that you do care and you were listening.
  4. Follow Through.  Nothing is more disappointing than words with no action.  Don’t say it if you don’t intend to do it.  We all fall short sometimes, but choosing to fall before you even try is inexcusable.  And if for some reason you can’t follow through, see #2!  Communicate that!
  5. Believe.  Having faith can move mountains.  And I don’t just mean that spiritually. Believing in others motivates them to do miraculous things.
  6. Invest.  Some of you may have heard this analogy before.  A chicken and a pig look at breakfast two different ways.  A chicken participates, but a pig invests.  Be the pig.
  7. Love.  Why did I list this last? Because doing #1 – #6 shows others #7.  It’s easy to say you love someone, but if you’re not listening, communicating, acting, following through, believing and investing, then are you really loving?  Showing someone you love them requires you to consciously do all of the above regularly, not just when you want something or the calendar tells you to.

Consider these things in all of your relationships – lovers, spouses, parents, children, religion, family, friends, co-workers, strangers passing on the street.  YOURSELF.  See how much of a difference you can make in someone else’s life this year by showing them the love they need.  Start with You and spiral outward.  Touch as many lives as you can and watch the love grow!

It is here that I bid you adieu.  In case you don’t hear from me in the following weeks (though I’ll do my best to pop in at my appointed time), don’t take it personal.  My little prince, my Bug, my son Mylan Jamaal Vaughn is due to show his face in the coming weeks so I may be a tad bit occupied.  Doesn’t mean I don’t love you! Just means I have to focus somewhere else for a moment…  Happy New Year and God Bless!

Two,

Ms. De

About Donya:

Donya Vaughn is a So Cal native, collegiate of San Diego State University and graduate of the University of Life, mastering in “Wow, That Was Harder Than It Needed To Be”. Known to her close friends as “The Walking Encyclopedia”, Donya prides herself in being helpful, knowledgeable and ready to serve. She uses these traits along with unwavering optimism and Christian good spirit regularly as owner and consultant of As You Like… Wedding & Event Services.

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