Archive for January, 2011

January 24, 2011

Your Voluptuousness In FULL View

by M Stagg | The Voluptua Project™
voluptuous woman

Image by McBeth via Flickr

Greetings TVP Fam!

You’ve probably have seen our posts featuring influential and inspirational people and businesses before. Additionally, some of you have requested that we do interviews with those that we feature. To that end I’d like to introduce our forthcoming feature post format – In FULL View!

Beginning next Monday, In FULL View will combine the profile version of our feature with an interview component to bring you even closer into the lives of our curvalicious friends!

Interested in being featured? Send us a note via the Contact Page and tell us about yourself and/or your business and someone will follow up with you ASAP.

January 18, 2011

I Ain’t Saying I’m A Gold Digger…

by Vonda Howard

Hey Vonda,

I’m writing to you to get your opinion on something.  I am 32 year old single woman with no kids that has had some terrible relationships.  I had one guy that I found out was married, one that was a habitual cheater, one that was a stalker and the last one I think was gay.  I have had nothing but bad luck in the love department.  About 6 months ago, I met a man that didn’t quite have the cuteness I go for, but he was and is a nice guy.  To add to that, he spoils me completely. Vonda, all I have to do is look at something sideways and I have it almost immediately.  He has bought me fine jewelry, clothes, bags, shoes and he wants to buy me a car.  Now, all that sounds wonderful right?  Any woman would tell me that I hit the jackpot, but…I just can’t seem to find those deep feelings for him that he has for me.  I just don’t understand it!  I don’t want to leave him because he is a nice guy (and I won’t deny that I will miss the pampering part).  What do I do?  He has recently started talking about the possibility of marriage and it sends shivers down my spine.  What do I do, Vonda? I don’t wnt to leave the best thing I have found in forever, but I don’t want to hurt him either.  Help!

I Ain’t Saying I’m A Gold Digger

Dear I Ain’t Saying I’m A Gold Digger,

I’m going to cut right to the chase…you have to make a decision now.  It’s not fair to you or him for this to continue if its all one-sided.  Trust me, I get the whole pampering thing; what women wouldn’t?  You just have to understand that as long as you stay in this relationship and let this man shower you with gifts, the deeper and deeper this hole gets.  It’s okay not to be attracted to him.  He can be the nicest thing on the planet, but if you aren’t attracted to him in that way it doesn’t make you a bad person.  Now, staying with him solely to keep soaking up his money would.  You said that you had some bad relationship experiences in the past…use this one as a template.  What I mean is, if this guy is as “good” as you say he is, now you know what to look for in the next one.  From what I read here, it doesn’t sound to me like there are mutual feelings here.  You need to sit him down and be honest with him.  Don’t do to him what the guys in past relationships did to you by being dishonest.  You never know, you MAY be able to maintain some sort of friendship with him.  It just comes down to you doing the right thing.  Hope I helped!


About the Author: Vonda Howard is the author of the new hot book series, The D-Cup Divas™, a graphic designer of her own graphic design firm, Cupcake Creative Studio, mom to two, wife to her one and only and a domestic goddess (not really…LOL). She does not profess to be an expert, but just that one opinionated girlfriend you go to for the straight nitty-gritty. So just relax and enjoy. ;o) Do you have a question? Send it to this and you may get featured!

January 17, 2011

A New Year and New Beginnings for The Voluptua Project

by M Stagg | The Voluptua Project™

choclate-and-curvyGreetings TVP Fam!

I have tons of stuff going on right now so this post will be rather short and sweet…

The Voluptua Project was always – and still is – meant to be a platform for promoting positive plus people, body image and heath and wellness. I have always tired to bring  you content that met or exceeded the mission of TVP.

In the pipeline (for those that are curious) we have the following coming up:

  • TVP Online magazine
  • First Quarterly TVP Meet & Greet
  • TVP Charity Fashion Show

I cannot do it alone however and so, beginning this month, I am actively seeking editors for the blog and community managers for the FB page. We’re ALWAYS seeking writers with a finger on the pulse of the plus community. I mention all this to basically say: If you would like to be part of TVP’s core team I’d love the company! Just visit the Contact page and let me know how you’d like to contribute. Thanks for reading (A BIG thank you to the TVP writing team!) and I hope your year is off to a fantabulous start!

January 11, 2011

When to Say No to Your Partner or You Want Me To Do What?!

by Vonda Howard

Hey Vonda!

Okay imma get right to it.  I just need a little clarification.  The other night I decided to spice up our sex life by agreeing to watch a xxx movie with my hubby.  I have to admit, I was enjoying it and it definitely was working.  It wasn’t until the woman in the movie showed us that she obviously has no bones, that this fool turned to me and actually said, “Ooo baby.  Why don’t we do that?”  I told him HELL NO and we continued to watch.  Vonda, ever since we watched that damn movie he has been asking me to bend, twist and squeeze into positions that my body just was not made to get into.  I love my husband and want to make him happy, but I am just not that comfortable with some of the things he wants me to do.  Vonda, what should I do?  Am I being a terrible wife if I tell him no?

You Want Me To Do What?

Dear You Want Me To Do What,

I have to admit your letter made me chuckle.  In the grand scope of things, this is a really minor problem.

I am glad to hear that you are open to trying new things with your hubby.  Lots of times, we wives and girlfriends can get a bit complacent when it comes to intimacy with our men.  Just like we want them to do things for us, we have to be willing to budge a little and do some of the things he is interested in too.  Who knows; he may just be curious about it and end up hating it too!

Now, to answer your question.  The answer is no.  You will not be wrong for telling him that you are uncomfortable with something.  After all, that is YOUR body and although you allow him to borrow it from time to time, you still have the ultimate say as to what happens to it.  Simply tell him that you love him and are having a good time trying all the new things, but that one is just not for you.  If he truly loves and respects you (which I assume he does), he won’t have a problem respecting your wishes.  Try buying some books and YOU pick out movies that may interest you and both of you decide on what you BOTH are willing to try together.

Have Fun!


About the Author: Vonda Howard is the author of the new hot book series, The D-Cup Divas™, a graphic designer of her own graphic design firm, Cupcake Creative Studio, mom to two, wife to her one and only and a domestic goddess (not really…LOL). She does not profess to be an expert, but just that one opinionated girlfriend you go to for the straight nitty-gritty. So just relax and enjoy. ;o) Do you have a question? Send it to this and you may get featured!

January 8, 2011

Begin Again: Love ’11 Style

by Donya B

Better Relationships

Relationships.  What is it about the holidays that really make us focus in on relationships?  At Thanksgiving, you recognized what you have or came through and were thankful for it.  At Hanukkah, you cherished the compassion God had for His children and shared that with your families.  At Christmas, you recognized the gift God gave in His son and shared that feeling of giving and love with everyone.  At Kwanzaa, you took time to embrace the love you have for yourself, your family and your community.  At New Years, you looked back over the year and examined the good and the bad, then resolved to change your future.  We really do a lot of assessing in a month!

But then what? Did all of your assessing and examining and contemplating make a difference in your relationships?  Did it make a difference that will last more than the “holiday season”?  What is it you will do differently with your loved ones in this new year that you didn’t do last year?  Here’s a short list to help you get an idea of things you can do to nurture and grow all of your relationships.  Feel free to comment back with more!

  1. Listen.  You have two ears and one mouth… Need I finish the thought?
  2. Communicate.  Once you’ve listened, convey to others how you feel, what you think, what you want and what you can do.  Not selfishly, but constructively.
  3. Act.  Words are important, but we all know actions speak much louder.  Do the things you know are important to someone else to show them that you do care and you were listening.
  4. Follow Through.  Nothing is more disappointing than words with no action.  Don’t say it if you don’t intend to do it.  We all fall short sometimes, but choosing to fall before you even try is inexcusable.  And if for some reason you can’t follow through, see #2!  Communicate that!
  5. Believe.  Having faith can move mountains.  And I don’t just mean that spiritually. Believing in others motivates them to do miraculous things.
  6. Invest.  Some of you may have heard this analogy before.  A chicken and a pig look at breakfast two different ways.  A chicken participates, but a pig invests.  Be the pig.
  7. Love.  Why did I list this last? Because doing #1 – #6 shows others #7.  It’s easy to say you love someone, but if you’re not listening, communicating, acting, following through, believing and investing, then are you really loving?  Showing someone you love them requires you to consciously do all of the above regularly, not just when you want something or the calendar tells you to.

Consider these things in all of your relationships – lovers, spouses, parents, children, religion, family, friends, co-workers, strangers passing on the street.  YOURSELF.  See how much of a difference you can make in someone else’s life this year by showing them the love they need.  Start with You and spiral outward.  Touch as many lives as you can and watch the love grow!

It is here that I bid you adieu.  In case you don’t hear from me in the following weeks (though I’ll do my best to pop in at my appointed time), don’t take it personal.  My little prince, my Bug, my son Mylan Jamaal Vaughn is due to show his face in the coming weeks so I may be a tad bit occupied.  Doesn’t mean I don’t love you! Just means I have to focus somewhere else for a moment…  Happy New Year and God Bless!


Ms. De

About Donya:

Donya Vaughn is a So Cal native, collegiate of San Diego State University and graduate of the University of Life, mastering in “Wow, That Was Harder Than It Needed To Be”. Known to her close friends as “The Walking Encyclopedia”, Donya prides herself in being helpful, knowledgeable and ready to serve. She uses these traits along with unwavering optimism and Christian good spirit regularly as owner and consultant of As You Like… Wedding & Event Services.

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