Ready For Love

by Vonda Howard

Dear Vonda,

I am exhausted.  I am a beautiful, smart, independent woman and cannot understand why it is that I can’t find a decent man!  It has gotten to the point now where I am just about ready to give up on the idea of ever really, truly being in love.  Yes, I have met guys that were nice, but the connection wasn’t there and I don’t know why.  I saw that you are married and have been for the past 14 years…how did you do that?  How did you know you were in love with your hubby and that it would last for so long?  I am starting to get desperate, Vonda.  I want REAL LOVE like in the movies.  I want that perfect guy that will sweep me off my feet and make my heart flutter, I just seem to keep on crapping out.  Please help me Vonda…how do you know when you are in love and how can I find it?

Sincerely,

Ready For Love

Dear Ready For Love,

I have had this question posed to me quite a few times and I’ve heard women say that they are “ready for love”, but are you? You said that you have met nice guys, but there was no connection.  Why not?  Could it be that you are too busy looking for Mr. Perfect?  I truly think that sometimes as women we look for that FICTIONAL romance on the TV screens and on movie screens and totally miss the mark in REAL LIFE.  Remember, the romances on screen are scripted, edited and cut to make them look pleasing.  Real love is a lot messier than that.  If you are holding the men you meet up to that standard on the screen, no wonder you are having troubles!

When I met my husband we were both at the point in our lives where we were open and receptive to finding that one person that we wanted to go the long haul with.  Neither one of us went into the relationship with way out expectations of the other, actually, we didn’t even meet face-to-face until 2 weeks after our first contact.  We had no idea what the other looked like on the other end, but we knew from getting to really know one another that there was some sort of connection there that we wanted to explore.  As far as how we have stayed in together for so long, it just boils down to being realistic and REALLY understanding that no marriage or person is perfect and learning to choose your battles.   If you are out there looking for prince charming to ride in on that white horse…then honey, I hope you have a pillow and comfy shoes because you will be waiting forever.  There is no one template for Mr. Wonderful.  He is different for every woman.  YOU just have to be open and flexible enough in your expectations to recognize him when he enters the room.  (He may not be on that horse either, he may show up on the next bus.)

Finding and recognizing love has no specific formula. It builds with time and getting to know and respect one another.  Love should not cause you to change who you are and love definitely shouldn’t hurt.  So, my advice to you is to stop looking for the fairy tale romance because that’s just what it is…a fairy tale.  To me, REAL LOVE once you find it is much better.  :o)

Good Luck!

Vonda

About the Author: Vonda Howard is the author of the new hot book series, The D-Cup Divas™, a graphic designer of her own graphic design firm, Cupcake Creative Studio, mom to two, wife to her one and only and a domestic goddess (not really…LOL). She does not profess to be an expert, but just that one opinionated girlfriend you go to for the straight nitty-gritty. So just relax and enjoy. ;o) Do you have a question? Send it to this address:heyvonda@thedcupdivas.com and you may get featured!

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