Tortured Beauty

by Vonda Howard

Dear Vonda,

Can you please explain something to me?  Why is it that women are so jealous?  I can honestly say that I have never really had good relationships with women.  I will admit that I have always been a very attractive person, as a child and now, but I am also very friendly and humble.  Every time I get close to a female and attempt a friendship, things always go south.  So, I decided to just focus on having guy friends.  Now, I get flack on that side too from their wives, and girlfriends!

Vonda, I am NOTHING but friends with these guys.  There is no hanky-panky at all.  Some of the guys have told me that their women have an issue when I hang out with them and want to get them to tell me to stay back!  What?  So, here’s the question:  Should I jeopardize really good friendships for a few jealous chicks?

Tortured Beauty

Dear Tortured Beauty,

I have actually heard this from a lot of women before.  In fact, I’m one of them.  There is nothing wrong with having platonic male friendships, I actually think guys are more fun to deal with.  No,w on the other side, I do still have very close girlfriends.  The fact that you don’t concerns me.  You should still be able to maintain relationships with your female counterparts on some level!  This is a case of “what or WHO is the common denominator in this equation?”.  You need to really look back at each of the failed relationships and try to honestly figure out what you might have done (or not done) to contribute to its demise.  Once you do that, you may actually figure out what the problem is.

Now, as far as the girlfriends of you buddies…you have to fall back on that one.  Like I said before, I have guy friends that I consider some of my best friends, but I always…always remain respectful to their wives and girlfriends.  Have you made an effort to really get to know them on some level?  Are you awkward around them?  When you call for the guys do you speak to them also?  From your description of yourself, you say there is some humility there, but proclaiming how attractive you are in the second sentence of your letter says otherwise.  Maybe they are picking up on a little of that too.  I  say if you really care about these friendships, make yourself known to these women and let them see that you aren’t after their guys!

Good luck!


About the Author: Vonda Howard is the author of the new hot book series, The D-Cup Divas™, a graphic designer of her own graphic design firm, Cupcake Creative Studio, mom to two, wife to her one and only and a domestic goddess (not really…LOL). She does not profess to be an expert, but just that one opinionated girlfriend you go to for the straight nitty-gritty. So just relax and enjoy. ;o) Do you have a question? Send it to this and you may get featured!


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