Tit For Tat

by Vonda Howard

Hurt

Hey Vonda,

I’ll get right to it. I have been dating my boyfriend for about 3 years now and I love him very much. One year ago I made the huge mistake of cheating on him with a co-worker and have felt terrible about it ever since. Happily, he decided to forgive me and we moved forward with our relationship.

About a week ago,  I came home early from work and walked in on him having sex with one of our neighbors. He had no idea I was even there, so I backed out of the room. My first inclination was to go get a knife and kill both of them, but then I thought about when I cheated on him. I simply just left and haven’t said a word about it.

Am I crazy not to say anything?   I feel like I cheated on first so who am I to say anything to him?

Help Vonda!

Tit For Tat

Dear Tit For Tat,

I’m going to answer your question first…YES, you are crazy.

You talked about the fact that you cheated on him a few years ago.  If he forgave you, then it should be a non-issue moving forward.  When you forgive someone for something, that’s it.  It’s forgiven.  You should not continue to beat yourself up from a mistake you made YEARS ago.  You’re human and allowed to make them!  You learned from it (I hope) and moved on.

Now, that said, there is no way in HELL that you should let him get away with disrespecting you in YOUR home just because you feel bad about something in your past.  I don’t condone violence, but you should have definitely made yourself known along with throwing them both out!  You DO NOT have to sit and take that!  Frankly, if you start to let these types of things go, it WILL get worse because he will start to think he can do whatever he wants to you and get away with it.  Frankly, It sounds to me like the trust and respect is gone in this “relationship” and it either needs to be dealt with by therapy or ending it all together.  The two of you CANNOT continue to play these hurtful games with one another.  Either you are in or you’re out.

Hope I helped!

Vonda

About the Author: Vonda Howard is the author of the new hot book series, The D-Cup Divas™, a graphic designer of her own graphic design firm, Cupcake Creative Studio, mom to two, wife to her one and only and a domestic goddess (not really…LOL). She does not profess to be an expert, but just that one opinionated girlfriend you go to for the straight nitty-gritty. So just relax and enjoy. ;o) Do you have a question? Send it to this address:heyvonda@thedcupdivas.com and you may get featured!


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