Love and Lies

by Donya B

Trust ShatteredIs it cool for me to smother the facts? Is it cool for me to cover my tracks? If you’d never know… Or would me not bein’ honest hurt you more? … Are there some things better left unsaid? Or would you wanna know instead? Hypothetically, of course… – Lyfe Jennings, Hypothetically

Fib. Fabrication. Deception. Distorted truth.  Falsity. Misstatement.  No matter what you call it – and all of us have done it – it’s still a LIE.

Today is a real Straight, No Chaser post.  My week has been shrouded in deception, so please excuse me if I sound cynical. I’ve been egregiously accused of lying to my friend and now that person doubts my honesty, even though I’ve proven my innocence and they know my accuser lies as easily as she breathes.  A dear friend knows her husband of one year has already cheated on her several times (and maybe with men), but he denies it and covers his tracks so she can’t prove it.  She’s now set a trap, baiting him with a lie to expose his lies.  Another friend told me she gets paid by her company to hack people’s computers to uncover their lies!  Lies everywhere I turn!

Deception is a weapon that hurts, maims and kills even the strongest of bonds.  Whether it’s a “little white” or a “big whopper”, lies do damage.  Oh, and don’t get it twisted, “discretionary honesty” is also a lie.  Yes, you told him you went to the club with your girls, had a few drinks, danced all night and went to eat before heading home.  All true.  But not mentioning that half of your drinks were purchased by the brother that was grinding you on the dance floor and then bought you some fries before making out with you in the parking lot makes it a lie.  One night of playtime potentially ruined your relationship.

“What a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive”.  A lie begets a lie, begets another lie and snowballs ’til you don’t even know what the truth is anymore.  When it all falls apart, why do we stand there looking stupid like we had no idea what just happened?  If you realize you’ll have to lie to cover something up, here’s a thought… Don’t Do It!!

I’m done ranting, so let’s do something different and have a dialogue! Give me your feedback on these questions for next week’s follow-up piece on Trust:  How often do you find yourself guilty of deception?  Was it worth the trouble?  Can you trust where there is dishonesty?  When you know someone has been dishonest with you, do you accept their attempt to rebuild your trust?  What have you done to try to rebuild someone’s trust in you?

Email me at  Any responses may be quoted but will remain completely anonymous. I don’t believe in putting people on blast, so don’t worry about that (my friends authorized me to borrow their stories).

Mint Truffle: If people know you’re lying because your mouth is moving, close it!


Ms. De

About Donya: Donya Vaughn is a So Cal native, collegiate of San Diego State University and graduate of the University of Life, mastering in “Wow, That Was Harder Than It Needed To Be”. Known to her close friends as “The Walking Encyclopedia”, Donya prides herself in being helpful, knowledgeable and ready to serve. She uses these traits along with unwavering optimism and Christian good spirit regularly as owner and consultant of As You Like… Wedding & Event Services.

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