Leaving the “Friendship Zone”

by Vonda Howard

friendstoloversHey Vonda,

What should a man do when he has been in love with his true blue female friend for nearly a year, only to find her feelings were exactly the same? The catch is she has a budding relationship with another man, she has committed to in a certain degree. No marriage, no full title of girlfriend boyfriend, or anything in the way of a title like exclusive. Should the friend continue to show his true feelings and wants to his female friend or should he pull back?

More Than Just a Friend

Dear “More Than Just A Friend”,

Whoo, this is a tricky one!

I am a fan of developing a friendship first before just jumping into a full fledged relationship, so you guys have that down already. While, it’s great that you guys have expressed that you both have these feelings for one another, you both should realize that changing the dynamics of the friendship into that of a dating relationship can cause irreparable damage if things don’t work out. You guys will be venturing into parts of one another that neither of you have been before.

Also, if this is truly something you guys want to pursue, the first thing that needs to be done is letting the other relationships go. You want to start off the right way. Maintaining the other relationship will only taint and doom the relationship from the start. Even though there may not be any official titles attached, the relationship statuses should be crystal clear.

Now, I see you asked, “Should the friend continue to show his true feelings and wants to his female friend or should he pull back?”. Has she TRULY expressed her interest in changing the relationship? If she hasn’t made it clear to you that that is what she wants, I would stop any advances right now before you not only ruin your chances romantically with her, but you will lose the friendship as well. If however, she is on board with everything, I would say just make sure the other relationships are dissolved and go for it!

Hope I helped!


About the Author: Vonda Howard is the author of the new hot book series, The D-Cup Divas™, a graphic designer of her own graphic design firm, Cupcake Creative Studio, mom to two, wife to her one and only and a domestic goddess (not really…LOL). She does not profess to be an expert, but just that one opinionated girlfriend you go to for the straight nitty-gritty. So just relax and enjoy. ;o) Do you have a question? Send it to this address: heyvonda@thedcupdivas.com and you may get featured!


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