As Lena would say, “Believe in Yourself…”

by Donya B

I love me.  From the strawberry blond tips of my dark brown hair to the cracked big toe nails on my size 9 feet.  I love the scars on my left eyelid because they remind me that it is only by God’s grace and mercy that a childhood disease didn’t steal the sight from that eye.  I even love the stretch marks that road map my hips and thighs because they are proof positive that I was never hungry.  I love me in my imperfection!!

As a “real sized” woman, I could easily follow modern media and believe there is something wrong with me because my thighs rub together when I walk.  I could believe that because there are only two racks of clothes that I can pick from in some stores (cough…Target…choke) that I must be unattractive.  I could even believe that I have to suffer through carb-free eating and fat-burning pills to get a man.  But I don’t and I won’t.  Why? Because I love me!  Relationship #1: God. Relationship #2: Me. Both healthy and strong!

As you read this right now, I know you love who you are too.  You are a woman or man of substance, stature, dignity and purpose.  You believe in who you are and what you are here to do and there isn’t a whole lot out there that can convince you otherwise. Or maybe you really want to believe all of that, but just aren’t there – yet! Keep reading, my love.

If the above observation is true, why do so many of us sit at home alone so many nights?  Why do we pine for the one that got away (read: never even came close)?  Why do we cry over the relationships that we gave our all and still got trampled?  But more importantly, why do we allow ourselves (or others) to blame our weight as a major part of the problem?

We the Fluffy have all faced “That Someone” who let us know our size was not our best feature, or simply our worst!  Because of that, we tend to live on either end of the sociability and self-esteem spectrum.  It takes work to get us to the middle.  In my opinion, it is because of these extremes that we have relationship problems.  Each quadrant has its pros and cons in relationships (sneak peek for next week), so for right now just come to the middle… Come to the middle…

The middle is where You started.  Come find You again.  Come love You again.  Come discover all of the things about yourself that make you wonderful and embrace them.  Learn to grow and nurture them. Take a hard look at the things you don’t like about you and figure out why.  Dedicate yourself to changing those things; either transform them into something good or erase them entirely.  Either way, stop complaining about them! You can’t have a good relationship with anyone until you have a phenomenal one with yourself!  This Week’s Truffle: Love You unconditionally and you’ll always be in the best company.

Two,

Ms. De

PS – We’ll miss your amazing beauty, Ms. Horne.  You were well loved and admired. Lena Mary Calhoun Horne 1917 – 2010

About Donya: Donya Vaughn is a So Cal native, collegiate of San Diego State University and graduate of the University of Life, mastering in “Wow, That Was Harder Than It Needed To Be”. Known to her close friends as “The Walking Encyclopedia”, Donya prides herself in being helpful, knowledgeable and ready to serve. She uses these traits along with unwavering optimism and Christian good spirit regularly as owner and consultant of As You Like… Wedding & Event Services.

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