The V Chronicles: A Conversation About Sex

by M Stagg | The Voluptua Project™

Raquiyba

Raquiyba, Author of The V Chronicles

All content in The V(irgin) Chronicles is based on the actual lifestyle and experiences of contributing author Raquiyba “Deborah Estelle” Bolton. Certain names, places and actual dates have been changed to protect the privacy of third parties.

The V Chronicles serves as a place to get people (and not just teens) talking about sex especially in the African American community. Hopefully you will be challenged, find humor, see yourself and be sparked to think about your own sexuality and lifestyle. The writings of the V Chronicles seek to offer a different perspective on life, love, purpose, virginity and abstinence.

It is important to say that because these writings include feelings, perspectives and side notes from Raquiyba they do not take on the definition of a Chronicle in true form. They are however a Chronicle of her life, starting from age 9 through her current age of 29.

All questions, suggestions or comments can be emailed to Michael Stagg of The Voluptua Project at voluptuaproject@gmail.com or Raquiyba Bolton at debbiestelle@yahoo.com.

Now I present to you – The V Chronicles

June 10th 1995 – Nichelle and I were walking to her house. It was our first day of cheerleading practice. Now as an adult I realize that most schools in Brooklyn don’t really cheer! What we did was more comparable to stepping! LOL! But you couldn’t tell us that! We were fly, smart and had really long hair! We were two of the most popular girls in 6th grade at P.S. 56. Nichelle Lee was my best friend. Our first conversation about sex? It went a little something like this!

Nichelle: “Girl you KNOW Louis is fine! Has he asked you to … Well you know”

Me: “Well, he isn’t pressuring me or anything but he says that most of us are doing it. He is fine and Puerto Rican … I don’t know girl”.

Nichelle: “Well you know Stephen and I have already done it right?”

Me: “What?! And you didn’t tell me!?!”

Nichelle: “Well I didn’t know what to say… It kind of just –  happened!”

Me: “Just happened? What does that mean? When girl? Did you like it? Did it feel good?”

Nichelle (shyly): “It kind of hurt like hell! But my sister told me that it will hurt like that until your boyfriend breaks you in… That is how it’s supposed to feel when a guy pops your cherry!”

Me: “What! You didn’t like it? I don’t know… Maybe I won’t let Louis…”

As we walked to her house on Fulton St. everything else was really a blur. I couldn’t believe my best friend had sex. I couldn’t believe she waited to tell me! I couldn’t believe she didn’t like it… I cringed! Would my first sexual experience be like this? This is NOT what I’d pictured when I first started thinking about sex… Shoot! Maybe I’ll be a Virgin forever!

* Check back next week for more from The V Chronicles *

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2 Comments to “The V Chronicles: A Conversation About Sex”

  1. I would just like to say you inspired me to stay a virgin until I am married. It’s definitely not easy and I would be lying if I said I didn’t have the overwhelming urge to have sex but I just think it’s better to wait. And it’s great to think that someobdy is ready to openly talk about sex instead of just keep it in the closet because these days sex is not a closet issue anymore. It’s out there and its heavy and for some people it’s everything. Thanks so much!!!….oh by the way I suppose you know who I am??? LOL of course you do. Love ya big sis!

  2. There is nothing wrong with being a virgin… I’d advise anyone to take their time and make sure it’s something that they want to venture into at such a young age. Sex can often be confused with love when you don’t know the difference. You have to give yourself time to grow, live and learn you before giving yourself to someone in such a way. There is a big responsibility that comes along with having sex not just physically but even more so emotionally, you have to be prepared for the feelings that follow. Not specifically the feelings towards the other but how you’ll feel about yourself in the long run.

    I made the decision at a young age to become sexually active and had I been better aware of myself and educated I would have waited. It wasn’t all it was cracked up to be and it’s best to be with someone you genuinely care about who has the same feelings towards you. There must be a mutual respect between the two people and it should be talked about in detail before the act takes place. If you’re swayed more towards no then stay there and vice versa. There should be caring, consideration and a concern for how both feel and these feelings should be shown in every way not just when it comes to sex.

    Never allow anyone to pressure you. Definitely wait until you’re ready!

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